So I wasn’t even going to waste my breathe on this but then I thought this could help someone else.
Here we go: It was a year ago this May when I first started my infusion and I was all alone. I had people around me who called themselves my friends but really weren’t. I remember weeks before I started my treatments, having a panic attack and just feeling helpless. I THOUGHT I needed a distraction and I stumbled upon this pen pal site. As someone who loves to write and meet new people, well, this seemed ideal. However, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Initially when I met this person they were kind and caring. We were pen pals. So I wrote to this person (from a P.O Box) every week, sent cards (I love to send cards) but they never wrote me back, not once. Then this person became very odd, speaking of the lotto, other money related issues and complaining about their job. Their friendship meant a lot to me because of what I was going through. It meant the world to me because I was alone during the time when I needed people by my side. So naturally, I appreciated this person. However, the odd behavior continued and they seemed to be emotionally unstable: One minute calling me their friend and then the next saying I wasn’t. Which in turn made me very flip-floppy, because I didn’t know what to believe. The person says one thing and then does another.
I was really going out of my way for this person because I was sick and lonely. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was being used. However, me seeing the best in people is a curse and a blessing. I gave them one last chance. I wrote a long email asking for them to call, text, write letters and do other things I shouldn’t have to ask for. Then guess what? They disappeared and never came back.
Real friends don’t do that. This person wasn’t my friend, they were an opportunist, and selfish. I was going through hell in my life and my body was falling apart. But when it came to the point that I couldn’t give to benefit them, they left. They were cowards. They took advantage of the sick. Everything that person promised me as a friend, they never delivered on. This person even got their mother involved to lie and back them up. I remember one time speaking to this person and them telling me everything that they told me was a lie. I was crying, and they just became irritated then hung up. That’s sickness.
But it takes two people in every situation. The bottom-line is, people will use you until you cannot give anymore and then when your all dried up… they leave. What kind of person leaves another who is sick and fighting for their life? A selfish person. No compassion, and it’s disgusting. Then for some reason out of the blue this person’s friend reaches out and contacts me. This person was extremely disrespectful and delusional. And guess what? They wanted to use me for “connections” and once they realized it wasn’t going down… Guess what? They left. Well, because I didn’t give them money and status. That was the problem: the minute I stopped helping was the minute they went away.
Am I crazy? No. I am just not going to let anyone walk all over me. Besides, at the end of the day I wish nothing but the very best for everyone, even if they do me wrong, because I don’t allow anyone to have that much power over me to stay bitter. I just want everyone to be happy… I always did and always will. Most importantly, I want all negative people to stay away from me because they can spread whatever poison they like, just not around me. But who I am, and what God has brought me to do will always be the most important thing in my life. People also need to understand that if I don’t know you and we don’t speak/haven’t spoke, we are not friends.
The moral of the story here is to all people suffering from illness is that people will pray on you even more. Which is sad because people should be sensitive and forthcoming but they are not. So, protect yourself and use the forums. Keep in contact with other lupies and survivors.
