Listening is the surest way to find out who people are. People will show you who they are unintentionally. The only way to catch a liar is by his action or inaction and not by his words.  In short, believe people who lie. It somewhat goes back to that entire ideology of “actions speak louder than words.” It not only speaks louder than words but it screams.

There was this woman I knew who was a girl. I will let you read that again.

She was highly immature, almost to the point of hysteria. She at times would be verbally abusive and I never paid any attention because it was clearly a deflection. I chose not to feed into it. I never understood the concept of frenemies. She wasn’t my friend nor my enemy. She was but a lost girl, who on the surface appeared to be searching for a face among the faceless. However, in actuality, she pursued her own reflection.  She wanted everyone to be just as she was without exceptions.

However,  those of us who choose to live in the realm of reality are aware that finding  yourself is a life-long journey as it is. The delusion of finding someone who is a copy of “you,” a person who is not yet developed nor accounted for is near impossible. Searching for the “better” half of you is due to your inability to coherently accept maturity, evolution and change. A person with a different opinion, guidelines, wants, and necessities, means going fifty-fifty, which is unfathomable to those “All or Nothing” type people. But I digress.

Couple of weeks ago her realm coincided with my reality when her son spoke very inappropriate words towards me. Needless to say,  I was highly unimpressed and instead of getting angry/loud. I disassociated  myself from the situation. In about three weeks time, she emailed my business partner and I apologized to me. I will allow you to read that sentence again…..

I accepted her apology and forgave her, though,  we will never speak to her again. Why? I can’t allow myself to be mislead or repeat history all due to a half hearted apology. This got me thinking…

People who apologize only because they have been caught or they look guilty, aren’t really sorry. You’re not sorry for what you did, no. You’re sorry that what you did got you in trouble. I never understood women and the use of cattiness. I can’t see myself behaving catty, I can’t see myself behaving like an animal at all. I don’t need to tear others down in order to make myself feel better. However, I know many other people do. They speak of people so poorly and do such horrific things. I can’t tell you how many times  I have seen women walk past one another with the look of jealousy, death and envy. It’s disgusting. We are competition with no one  but ourselves. It’s called SELF-esteem not “Other’s Abuse”.

I realized that she was just one of “those girls” like so many women are. They pretend as though they are still in High School, and trying to be the head cheerleader at 35. These women are still “mean girls” and where do you suppose these young ladies in High School get this behavior? Hmmm…

The same set of people who will smile in your face will stab you in the back, but why? Why is everyone running in each other’s lanes or constantly “kanyeing” in other people’s lives? Adding $5 to a 2 cent jar? Maybe because if they stop and look at their own lives, they realize it isn’t great, so they are pointing the finger before anyone notices their weight issues, bankruptcies, foreclosures, failed marriages, daddy issues or stagnant career.

No one wants to live in reality, however, reality is like rats in NY…they always find their way in. I suppose that’s why I never fought back towards her. Perhaps, she wasn’t aware that I was picking up on her sly comments. However, I was but they just yielded no response out of sheer mercy on how broken this girl was.

I used to think that I had to remain around her because she was family but I have realized something that took me a long time to understand….. Just because you share blood that doesn’t make you family but just related. Family is present, reliable, compassionate and unconditional. You can honestly have that with anyone, but not just anybody.